This month I have been doing some shadow work. Learning to harness the energy of the aspects of my personality that are challenging. The dark to my light, if you will. My focus  has not been on letting go of these things, but rather asking myself “How can I look at myself honestly, and use the energy that is dark, heavy, difficult to create positive change?” My honest answer is….I am working on it. I am still going through the process and some things, I was able to easily and smoothly shift… I use the example of being stubborn and channeling that energy into relentlessly putting Curious Movement out there and encouraging people to come to a session and go ALL IN to really challenge their limiting beliefs. This was a no-brainer. More challenging is to recognize where my stubbornness is hurtful to myself and the people in my life and how I can shift that energy to be more flexible and present. I am taking that time to go deeper and sit with these feelings and really explore the dark and the light. 

As the holiday season is upon us I am inviting us all to be curious about this idea of dark and light. Yes, I LOVE holidays, traditions, gatherings, music, movies and you can ask anyone in my life and they can tell you, I am a Christmas fanatic! I also recognize that I haven’t always been my best self during the holidays, I allowed perfect to be the enemy of good. I cried in a Christmas Tree farm last year! (No joke! It was the most pitiful trees you ever saw, and I had built it up to be so important in my mind that I just cried because I knew my family would never come and cut down their trees with me again!).  Have you done this? Built the expectation of the “magical family memory” so big in your mind that when it is all not working like you expected, instead of being in the moment, you just lose it?! I get it….no judgement from me! I have allowed myself to get caught up in the celebrations and overate, overdrank, overspent, and overcommitted…and when the payoff wasn’t wonderful moments that I will forever cherish, I went to a dark place. Couple that with the fact that I live in New England and used to make ridiculous New Year’s Resolutions so after the holidays are done it is just water, darkness, cold, ice and lettuce….and let’s just say January is the dark to my SIX Christmas tree light. I think if we can approach the holiday season with this knowing that for all the magic and wonder and light, there is also some stress and anxiety and dark, we are able to do that shadow work and be curious about the best way for you to move through it.

 This year, I started doing the work BEFORE the holidays! We are about to be in all kinds of situations/celebrations, having our routines disrupted, eating/drinking/spending differently, and I invite you to be curious about that energy exchange. I am already blocking time in my calendar for the things I want to do that bring me joy…Holiday Parades, Crafting, Music, Curious Sessions and a massage! I am establishing a budget for my spending, and being creative about my gifting. I am NOT overcommitting. If it is worth my energy and I will feel FILLED after it, then it goes in the calendar, if it is NOT, I will ask myself: “can someone else do this?” (think of the things that need to get done, but not necessarily by YOU…wrapping/cooking/decorating/shopping…fill in your blank), and release my attachment to the outcome. It may not be wrapped like I would have wrapped it, but it got done and so far not one of my kids has ever referenced a previous year’s wrapping! I will continue to look for the light in the shadow and vice-versa. I will give myself permission to ENJOY the moments and when the moment involves pie, I will enjoy that MOMENT. It is incredibly powerful to decide what you are inviting in. I do not invite alcohol in, so I don’t have to lose any energy there. I do invite FUN in and will be finding opportunities to connect with framily and family…and  I will politely decline invitations from those who I do not need to share space with this season. 

Now that we have gotten that established…. What you excited about this holiday season? What traditions (new or old) are you using to mark this time? How are you balancing your dark/light? XO Lulu