Hello Lovelies!
I have had some curious thoughts about limits this week…
One of the inspirations in bringing Curious Movement to life is the idea that the whole, unique and amazing self that is each of us as we grow becomes limited and by using breath, movement, and connection we can break through the limiting and get back to that wholeness.
The limiting comes from many inside and outside forces. It can come from people who love us or hate us or from sources that don’t even know us (think culture/media/etc.). It is the thoughts and actions that we take on as “who we are”, that leave us feeling less than, constrained, uncomfortable in our own minds and bodies. It is the adjustments we make to ourselves in order to accommodate the comfort and joy of those around us. The becoming of who we are told/shown to be and who we truly are….good, bad and all the beautiful shades of gray in between!
Let me be very clear that I am not talking about boundaries that are in place to keep us safe and healthy. Boundaries are necessary! Limits…especially those that are meant to keep us from our true self, from accessing joy and love, from challenging ourselves to grow…this is what I am rallying against.
Limits are the what we impose on ourselves. They are in the things we tell others “I am too….loud/quiet/big/small/bossy/lazy but, that is just who I am”. Maybe, you are not too anything. You may be loud/quiet/big/small/bossy/lazy…. but what if you were exactly the right amount?! What if…instead of looking outward to “fix” it you were able to look inside and free it?! What if you were able to trust what you know to be who you are and not who you have been told you are or who you “should” be.
I’m curious….what if instead of struggling to fit into our limited spaces you took a moment to BE what you are trying to limit? What if in that space you are able to make your insides match your outsides? What if you understood that the world is better because you…just you…wholly, beautifully, complete you… in this moment as you are…are in it?! What would that feel like?! Hug that person for me. XO Lulu
I love everything about this. It is so hard at times finding your way through this chaotic world where so many forces and stressors push against us and drain our energy, dim our light if we allow them to. And for so many of us it takes a lot of time and intention to become aware, and to find the strength to attend to those feelings and negative false beliefs, to commit to doing the work and to making peace with and embracing who we are in this moment, while letting go of the past and striving to be a more authentic, more evolved version of ourselves as we move forward on our journeys.
I know this has been especially challenging for me, and I know I’m not alone. I didn’t have good role models for emotional regulation, self-love or calculated risk taking. I was sheltered to a degree and I lived a long time without an awareness of my anxiety and limited coping skills. It wasn’t until I had my own daughter that I began to realize how important my own growth was. You can’t teach or model what you don’t know. I knew I wanted to have a different relationship with my daughter than I had with my own mother. I wanted her to feel safe from a very early age to be her truest, most authentic self, to be adventurous and curious, to never change who she was to earn the approval of others, and to never be afraid to ask questions. But to help her on her path, I first had to find a way to grow in those areas myself and try to unearth my inner wisdom.
Therapy was a huge catalyst for working towards these goals and learning to be kinder to myself and less judgemental. It can be hard to create a different narrative than the one you’ve been sold. I was the the “too loud” girl and the “weird” one and the “overly sensitive” one. But what I learned on my journey is that yes, during a time when I was younger, with less life experience and less self-awareness, I can see why those labels were attached to me. But, I also was able to recognize that a lot of those negative reactions came from a place of insecurity on behalf of the people assigning those labels. What they were really saying was “your vulnerability makes me uncomfortable, you don’t conform to my world view, or your authenticity is intimidating to me because I haven’t yet learned how to be real in my own life.” As I’ve grown older and wiser I’ve started to find “my people” and to truly value the openness and authenticity in others. I finally have people who create spaces for me to be the fullest, crudest, witty, heart on my sleeve individual I am and was meant to be. We have learned so much from one another in these relationships because we learned how to hold space for one another and to BE a safe space for one another. As humans, it’s part of our inherent nature to seek validation through others, and there are few things more validating than having someone tell you “I feel safe with you, you’re not too much for me, I appreciate your realness, and I’m glad I have you in my life.”
The letting go is hard, sometimes on our journey we take a few steps back to move forward. Progress looks different for everyone. But when we are able to let go, to make time for ourselves, to open up, to find true connection, we unearth that which is already within us, we unlock a new level in our growth and we find more contentment, more peace and more joy.
Thank you for creating another safe place for self exploration and for inviting us in. We women are truly magical and each of us was made to shine in our own way. I know you will reach so many people through this venture and be a catalyst for reflection in others.
Wow! I needed this so much this week. From the 1,000 foot view it’s such an odd notion to continually squash yourself for someone else’s comfort. Truly, against our survivalist nature…and yet seamlessly becomes the norm. An exhausting internal battle. Thanks for bringing this to light. I think I already feel the pressure valve releasing a little!