When the grass is greener, I tend my own yard.
Good Morning Loves….I love to scroll through social and see what everyone is doing and cheering on a friend’s success, hearting the kiddos “first day of school”, WOW for a friend who is jumping out of a plane (I have VERY cool friends!), another heart for a breathtaking vacation pic/room re-do/haircut/dinner. Sometimes, especially when I am struggling with something, I do this and start to look at my own life and think “ugh!” and now when that happens I know that this is going to be my intention for the week ahead! I invite you this week to sit with this intention and be curious about what comes up for you…let’s get some dirt under our nails. Take a breath and let’s explore some different ways to grow this one together….
This can be an opportunity for become aware of all the -ers… you know, when you are looking around and “everyone else” is happy-er, strong-er, smart-er, thin-er, fast-er, bet-er, comfortable-er in their own life/finances/family/work/skin (Note: I know the prop-er spellings). When we are connected to our curiosity, we can use these moments in a myriad of ways that can be healthy-er, than if we are using them to wreck our contentment or judge/punish ourselves. As the -ers pop up and we become aware of them, we can then start doing some digging around why they are there… Who gave you the -er (do you really think that your XX is too XXX)? Is it really yours or have you just picked it up and been carrying it around without even realizing that is what you are doing (you need XX to be successful….you can’t change XXX after the age of XXX)? What will you do with the -er when you get there (IE: I will take a break when XXX….I will be happy when XXX….) ? I love using XX because there are so many ways that these can apply to your lived experience.
Is that person/place/thing a mirror for you? Allowing you to see where your garden may need some tending? Can you look at someone else’s yard and ASK “How did they get there/do that?”, and not from a lacking mindset, but as a way for you to tweak what you do as you learn from those who went before you? Can you “try-on” a new technique that you hadn’t before considered because “it isn’t you”?
Is that “real grass” or are you looking at “shiny plastic grass”? When talking about this with a friend she pointed out to me….”When my grass was greenest on the outside, it was often when I was doing the worst on the inside.” Can you tell when you are being shown pictures/posts/fronts about “LIVING MY BEST LIFE” and it is maybe a shiny mask? A “Don’t peak behind the curtain” if you will. Can we be honest with ourselves and check in to see if what we are seeing/hearing/witnessing is real and not AstroTurf?! Can you ask yourself….is what I am putting into the world my wild and authentic self or the “manicured lawn” version of me? What needs to be tended to/cared for/nurtured in my life to make the outside match the inside AND vice-versa?! NOTE: We have talked about manifesting in the past and how it is a powerful tool to speak and present to the world as if your goals have happened and that can look and feel like “fake grass”. I think it is important to recognize when it is a work-in-progress being tended and nurtured and when it is truly just a blanket of fake to cover up the mess underneath and so here again is an opportunity to be curious….are you using your tools (habits/actions/thoughts) to support your growth and by doing so performing your own Velveteen Rabbit trick (loving the “fake” into reality if you are not sure of the VR reference…there will be another whole Musing dedicated to this because I love that lesson so much)? Can you recognize when someone else is doing this and instead of side eye for being “fake” offer them the gift of seeing them as their own masterpiece in the making?
We also need to take stock of our own grass without the comparison….What does my grass really need? Our work can be strong, fierce and sweaty… but it sometimes needs to be gentle, tender and allow for grace and ease. Sometimes the HARD work is to make space for rest. Are you allowing time for rest in the sunshine? Are you giving yourself enough nutrition? Water? Are you paying attention to the season and what time of year it is and NOT fighting nature, but working with her? Where are you finding the JOY in the work?
I could go on and on with this one, but the last thing I want to say is this….if you do nothing else this week, I hope you take this moment and find the beauty in your own yard. Find the spot that is thriving! It may be just a tiny new tender square that you have just begun to care for and you just have to trust that when you see the beautiful gardens of those who have been tending theirs for a while that your green-er is coming and YOU ARE making that happen. From my tiny patch to yours… XO Lulu